Ever felt like the walls were closing in?

That's what I'm pretty much feeling right now. I feel like I'm censoring myself in a place that I meant to be the place that I do the opposite.

I think this might be the last place I can vent anything, which sucks because I would rather use Twitter for this. Fast, easy, and gets it all out in 140 characters or less.

Basically I started YouTube out of boredom, but I basically found it as an escape. One of my first videos I made that I'm pretty sure MIGHT be somewhere in the ruins that was left after the computer crash, was me venting about how much I hate the people in my neighbourhood. I knew it was highly likely anybody from my neighbourhood would find it, and it felt good to let it out. Then soon enough, some douchebag from my neighbourhood who I grew up with (Smosh whore), found my YouTube, so I deleted it. I still made videos though, just not relating to anybody he'd care about.

Then soon enough, I left my YouTube open one night and my brother found it and told my parents. They now monitor my YouTube, so anything I may really want to do that would vent anything about where I live, is pretty much screwed. Comepletely.

So I got Twitter. Whenever something pissed my off, I tweeted it. Let my YT friends know. The people I know who could relate. Then my mom found my Twitter and read ALL my tweets, finding the ones where I call her a bitch. I now no longer can use Twitter as an escape. The only thing I can really write when I'm mad or upset, are metaphors that I can only HOPE people will understand.

I seriously cannot wait to move out of this place. I feel like I have no privacy, no freedom of speech, no ANYTHING. Anything I ever say about my parents, is treason.
I live in a democratic country in a house under a dictatorship. Like I live in Korea or something.

I can't concentrate on work, because I know that if I do ANYTHING somewhere that isn't work will be found and potentially used against me in an argument. I can't sleep because my parents don't even trust me enough to leave my computer in my room at night. I hate holidays because I know I'll have to be home more. Whenever I'm home, my mom only thinks that time is for work and work alone. She thinks that Skype is useless, because I only talk to YT friends, who she calls fake and are oly online friends. I can't talk, or I know whatever I may say may be listened to. I can't type, because I know it'll be read. I can't write because I know it'll be easily found and used against me.

I can't wait to leave. I need a paper plane so I can fly far far away from this paper town.