Let the crappiness ensue!

Okie dokes. TIME TO BLOG.

So honestly, I'm not too sure what to write about. I want to keep this blog light and fluffy and happy and yadda yadda yadda. But the truth is, I've been having a pretty shitty month.

There's a lot I can't really talk about. Mostly cause, well, it's not really my story to tell. Or it's not something you spurt onto the interwebs. But what I can tell you, is that it's been a pretty hard month.

People have been getting sick, dying. It's just kind of depressing.

Maybe it's December. I always used to love December, but I think this whole "weather connected to emotions" thing is taking a toll on me. I'm a pretty positive person, don't get me wrong, but all that's going on is sort of leaving me melancholy.

The one thing I know, is that I can at least count on my YT friends :) Because, honestly? My IRL have been treating me like shit, lately. I always feel like this no matter which friend circle I seem to float into, I always feel like their doormat. I'm always that one you can count on... to not spaz if you bail out on. I'm the one who's always there for the shoulder to cry on... and then to be bossed around. I'm sick of it but I can never seem to get the cahones to do anything.
Recently though, I'm feeling blocked out. Nobody seems to take my word into an account, so I'm therefore known as "neutral". They shower me with love, telling others how amazing I am, and then spurt out all their pissiness at me. Like, what the fuck?

The second part of the drama is pretty damn recent. To explain, in my friend group there are two types of people. The "neutral" people (ie. me) and the separated people, meaning the majority of my friends. Think of it as the world's smallest civil war. I'm not gonna go really in depth, but I'll give you the jist. Amy is bitch to Matt. Matt is going out with Amy. Matt begins liking me. My close friends tell me never to go out with him. I become close friends with Matt. Matt dumps Amy. Amy'd dad dies in car crash. Matt worries Amy is suicidal. Matt in essence, asks me out. I twitter frantically all this. I am left severely confused.

And the third part is really complicated. For my whole life basically, I have done musical theatre, right? I know what your'e thinking.. "DORK!". Well yes. That is true. I am a dork. But in my acting class, many of my old cast members are going on to act in big things (ie. YTV, Degrassi etc etc.). Mainly, I'm feeling left in the dust. Actually, it runs a lot deeper. I'm just not really gonna write about THAT. But since I quit theatre this year, I feel like I've lost a part of me. And I don't think I can ever fully get that part back.

Anyway, the rest is all schoolwork/family related. Otherwise known as restricted blogging territory.
I've pretty much pushed my limit with this post.

Anyway. Pity party, over. I'm going to bed.